


Fighter

by FindingTallahassee



Category: Once Upon A Time - Fandom
Genre: Abuse, F/M, Physical Abuse, Physical Disability, Physical Therapy, Therapy, Triggers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-11
Updated: 2016-11-26
Packaged: 2018-05-06 05:40:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 16,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5405114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FindingTallahassee/pseuds/FindingTallahassee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Emma is in an abusive relationship with Neal.  David and Killian want to help Emma get out.  After about a year of constant abuse Emma finally tries to leave the relationship, but before she can Emma ends up in the hospital.  Due to a blow to the back of her head Emma loses the ability to use her legs, she will have to go through heavy therapy in order to walk again.  Trying to have a fresh start Emma, David, Killian, and Mary Margaret move from New York to a small town called Storybrook. Will Emma be able to heal?  Will Killian be able to help her overcome to pain of Neal to start a future with him?</p><p>Sorry for the crappy summary, but I really think this story will turn out pretty awesome!<br/>TRIGGER WARNING in chapter two.</p><p>Update-This is now finished!!!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everybody!! I already have the first few chapters done, so I'll try not to leave you hanging! I'm going to try to update this story once a week, but I'm really bad at deadline so feel free to yell at me if I'm taking too long. This will be a smut free fan fiction just so everybody knows. Most of the trigger warnings are for chapter two but I'm not Rumple... or a seer... So who knows?!?!

　  
　  
Chapter 1 

He knew what was happening. One afternoon she was smiling and laughing, drinking a beer with him and David out on the balcony joking about their crazy neighbors, and the next she was wincing every time anyone got within a foot of her. Not a week after that she was wearing long sleeve shirts, long pants, and scarves in the middle of July with the occasional bruise above her eye or on her chin. 

It didn't take much imagination to figure out was going on.

Every time he tried to tell her to leave, to get as far away from Neal as possible she would throw up the emotional wall he had worked so hard to distinguish. She wouldn't talk to David either. That worried him. Why would she feel afraid to talk to her own brother, her family?

Every time he was with her, he saw the pain in her eyes... and his heart hurt for her. He could tell she wanted to leave, who wouldn't? But something was holding her back. 

They were in the kitchen making lunch when Killian decided it was a fine time to talk to David, "Did you see Emma last night?"

David's content face faded to sadness and deep regret. "Yeah, she looked awful."

"David we need to do something about this, mate, she doesn't look like she's slept in weeks. She hardly eats anything and she's too scared look anyone in the eye. She needs help."

"I know, I've told her that a hundred times, so have you. She just won't listen."

"Why did you let her go back to him?" he tried not to let his anger and worry show but knew he was failing.

"That's not fair Killian, you know as much as I do that she's not ten anymore, she has to make her own decisions. I told her that she should stay here, that we'll figure something out so that she doesn't have to see Neal ever again... but she wouldn't." David saw Killian's questioning expression, "Look Killian as much as I want to get her away from that situation we're doing everything we can. We can't force her to do anything."

"As much I support and trust you, I'm not sure that's the best course of action. It is her decision to make...I just don't think she sees it that way."

"What do you suggest?"

"Well it's almost been a year and she won't do anything about it... I think it's past time we get the police involved."

David was staring blankly at the counter considering the idea when his phone started ringing. He looked at the screen questioningly before picking it off the counter. "Probably just a wrong number." David excused. Killian could hear broken pieces of the conversation and he could tell just by David's facial expression what it was about... Something happened to Emma, something that they couldn't fix.

 

They were led to a waiting room in emergency care. The nurse told them that Emma was still being operated on, and that it would probably be at least another hour and a half. Killian was in a daze, not fully aware of anything that was happening around him, too wrapped up in his thoughts. Operation? What the bloody hell happened!? How bad was it? What if they couldn't save her? First Liam, not Emma too. Why did she let Neal do this to her!? Why did HE let Neal do this to her?

"Killian." David said firmly (not for the first time) ripping him away from his worry. He raised his head showing David that he had his attention.

"She's out of operation and just got placed in a room," he paused. "She's okay, she's not awake, but she's gonna be okay." 

Killian sighed semi relieved, knowing that there would still be damage both physically and mentally, but at least she was alive. "When can we see her?" 

"Now."

"Go to her, I'll meet you there in a few minutes. What room number is it?"

"It's 108."

David disappeared behind the doorframe and Killian let out a sigh. It was time to face the inevitable, the brokenness Neal had left behind.

 

He was right outside room number 108. He had been so anxious about the operation that now that the time to see her was finally here, he didn't think he was ready. Killian took a deep breath, bracing himself for what he was about to see. He stepped inside the room, the first thing he saw was David, sitting in a chair beside the bed, he was whiter than a ghost, he just stared at her, his face covered in tears. He had a hold of one of Emma's hands 

Then Killian looked at her. What he saw rendered him speechless, tears threatened to spill over, she didn't even look like the same person. What did that monster do to you Emma? Her face was no longer covered in the smooth, cream colored skin he remembered, instead in it's place was a mix of bruises and blood. He could tell that the left side of her face had received quite the beating. Even though the doctors had tried to clean her up there was still fresh blood running from the cracked skin. The roots of her hair were soaked in blood and her soft, pink lips she once had were replaced by dry, cracked, bloody ones.

Her arms were completely covered in bandages and she had a cast on one of her arms. He couldn't see the damage done to her legs due to the sheets now covering them, but he guessed they weren't in any better condition.

He took the chair on the opposite side David had, tears openly flowing down his own face. He cursed himself for not doing something about it sooner.

"Why did I let you go through this?" he said to himself, "Why didn't I do something... anything."

 

He had gotten there three and a half hours ago, relieving David of night duty. He had tried reading, sleeping, even watching T.V., but he inevitably always ended up watching her. He was scared that if he left her for even a second Neal would come back and he'd lose her forever.

Despite the marks covering her face, she looked more peaceful now than she had for the past year. That look of pain and regret was gone... for now. He knew that the moment she woke up it would return. He took a moment to remember what she used to be like... Before Neal. When they were younger the way she would defend any kid who was getting picked on would make you proud. When they were teenagers the way she ogled over anything chocolate could make everyone laugh out loud. But her smile... her smile could make you forget your problems and just dwell in the sheer joy radiating off of her... He missed that smile.

He saw her eye twitch, pulling him out of his thoughts, anxious to see if she would wake up. He kept watching her... it happened again.

"Emma?" he asked quietly.

That seemed to get her attention because the moment he uttered the words her eyes snapped opened and she started struggling to free herself from the sheets.

He could see the uncontrolled fear in her eyes, it hurt him that she was this insecure. "Emma, it's okay it's me, Killian," he stammered. As soon as what he said registered she stopped fighting and actually looked at him. He saw the understanding wash over her and the fear in her eyes dulled, but it was still there.

Why is she scared of me?

"K-Killian?"

"Yes love, it's me."

She was still groggy from waking up and slow to take in her surroundings. He sat there and let her work everything out in her head, when everything finally clicked she looked up and asked him "How long have I been here?"

"You were admitted to the hospital two nights ago" he rasped quietly staring into oblivion while recalling the memory.

She kept silent and looked around the room again before her gaze fell on her own person. He watched as the panic flared in her eyes as she saw her arms covered in bandages accompanied by the cast on her left arm. She tried to lift her good arm to feel her face but winced at the pain and quickly put it back down. He saw her squirm on the hospital bed a little before she went rigid.

"What is it love?"

She didn't answer. she just sat there in frozen with shock.

"Emma?"

"Killian," she whispered," I can't move my legs." 

 

He was still in shock that this could happen. His mind wandered to the first time they had met. He was twelve and Liam was fifteen, they had been placed in a home just outside Boston. They shared a room with David and a little red-headed kid named August.

Liam and David were roughly the same age and had quickly struck up a friendship, Killian was the third wheel and inevitably found out that David had a little sister. She was a little bit younger than him, maybe a year? He also found out that she was a very rough lass (which is not an uncommon thing when you get shipped off into the foster system) and usually kept his distance.

It wasn't until he and Emma met up again at another group home when they were teenagers that he really got to know her. Liam had just died in a car accident and David was fresh out of foster care, trying to make everything work so that he could become Emma's legal guardian. So it was just the two of them.

Emma was still as tough as ever, not taking crap from anyone, but there was a softer side to her than there was four years ago that he had never seen. Honestly, it intrigued him, he decided to get to know her a little more. It took time to gain her trust but in time the two of them were inseparable. She helped him get over Liam's death in a way that no one else could. Now he was going to do that for Emma. She had always been there for him, he wasn't going to let her go through any more without letting her know that he was there for her this time. The next few months were going to be a challenge but he wasn't taking the easy way out, and he knew David felt the same way. 

They had just talked to the doctor and had found out why Emma's legs were currently stationary, and he knew that this was not going to be sunrise and roses for any of them. He sighed as he, David, and the doctor entered her room. He watched Emma's face as Doctor Mallard told her that she was going to have to go through months of therapy in order to get her legs to work properly, and that she was going to have to learn how to walk all over again. He watched as she put on a good face, but he could see through the charade, he could see the pain and the sheer terror in her eyes.

As soon as he was done explaining gibberish to Emma, Doctor Mallard asked David to come speak to him in the hall, leaving Emma and Killian alone in the dim room. He moved from the wall he was leaning against to one of the chairs closest to Emma's side. He didn't speak, he just sat there as they both stared into oblivion, knowing that any words would just seem like mumblings in a fuzzy blur.

As soon as David came back through the door her head shot up. "When can I leave?"

David sighed before answering. "Well, it's complicated. As far as physically," he explained, "you need to be rehydrated first and your body needs time to heal before they'll let you out. You have at the very least two weeks."

"Physically?" she asked, "What else?"

"You need a place to live, Emma, because I'm not letting you go back to that house. You're moving back in with me and Killian, I know you don't like it but you'll learn to. The only problem with that is there's only two bedrooms and it's not wheelchair accessible. We're going to have to upgrade a little, which means it's a little more expensive, but they won't let you leave until we have that set up."

"So it's very possible it could be longer." she concluded.

"I'm going to start looking around, but yeah, it could take a while." He waited for a reaction that he didn't get. "Something that I do know, is that you're not going being left alone, whether it's me, or Killian, or Mary Margaret, it doesn't matter, but I promise that someone will always be here.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the hold-up everybody, but lots has been going on and I finally got around to posting again. I promise it will not be near so long till the next update! So this is the chapter with the physical abuse scene, it's pretty intense so if this is a trigger for you please skip this chapter or skip to the first mark. Thank you everybody for reading and reviewing, it means a lot!

She had had enough, David was right, she needed to get out of there before something happened she couldn't come back from. She knew that Neal wouldn't just take it out on her, but on David and Killian too, but she couldn't keep living like this. She didn't know what had changed her mind, maybe it was when she looked in the mirror and she didn't recognize who she saw, or maybe it was because she knew she was hurting the people around her. No, it was yesterday when she was at her brothers apartment, when she saw David come up behind Mary Margaret and wrap his arms around her waist, when he told her that he loved her and buried his face in her neck, later when he was sitting across from her at the dinner table and looked at her like she was the only thing in the whole world that mattered.

That was when she decided that she wanted that, that she needed it, and another moment of feeling like she was unwanted would kill her. she started packing, throwing some clothes in a basket and getting her box of things she'd collected over her childhood, she loaded it in her bug and headed back in the house to grab her purse. She checked the bag to see if she had her phone and wallet, making sure that she didn't have a reason to come back, she turned around to step out the door for the final time when she saw Neal standing in the doorway.

How is that possible I didn't hear the door open? She kept her cool trying not to look scared.

"Where are you going?" He asked sternly.

"I'm going to the store, we ran out of milk and I wanted to make-"

"Don't lie to me!" He cut her off.

"I-I'm not lying," she tried to say it with conviction, backing slowly to keep as much distance from him as possible.

"Really? So you're just bringing a basket full of clothes to change into at the store."

She opened her mouth to speak, trying to stay strong, but all that came out was a scared, sorry, whimper.

"I thought we already discussed this," he stepped forward, swinging the door closed behind him with a loud thud. "I thought we came to an understanding. You stay here and I don't harm David or Killian." He picked up a worn wooden spoon off of the counter, gripping it until his knuckled turned white as he stepped forward.

She backed up by instinct until her back hit the cool material of the wall. He reached out and hit her already scarred and bruised arm with all his strength. The slapping noise of the splintered wood coming in contact with her skin was drowned out by her strangled scream. As soon as she caught her breath she whimpered, "Neal please."

"Please what?" He asked as he struck her again, only this time on her face. 

She could almost hear her skin split before she felt the hot blood running down her face. She let out another yelp before crying, "Tell me why! Before you kill me, just please tell me why! What did I do to you?"

"Why? Why?" He let out a demonic chuckle. "Because nobody cares about you, you're not capable of being loved. I'm just here to show you that." He whispered the last part into her ear before letting out another evil laugh and beating her mercilessly with the wooden spoon. All with a grin.

After he got tired of watching her writhing in pain in front of him he let her fall to the floor before speaking again, "Somewhere in that thick skull of yours you know it's true, otherwise you wouldn't have stayed this long. Instead you've come crawling back with your tail in between your legs for the past year." He sighed "But, I knew one of these days you were going to say enough was enough and try to leave."

She was on the brink of losing consciousness all together, her stomach was churning, she could hardly breath enough to sputter out the few words she thought would be her last. "Kill me, just get it over with."

He picked her up off the floor by a fistful of her shirt, "Gladly." he crushed her against the wall pressing the wooden spoon horizontally to her throat, disabling her to breath.

The job was almost over when there was a knock on the door. "Is everyone alright in there!?!?"

Neal removed the spoon from her neck and she gasped for breath as much as she could with her lungs feeling so constricted. The knocking continued and he whispered, "We're not done, no matter where you go, no matter how far you run, I will find you... and put your miserable little life to an end." 

Before bolting for the back door, he took her shoulders and shoved her across the room, slamming the back of her skull into the edge of the counter... and everything faded to black.

 

"Emma! Love it's alright it was just a dream, Neal can't hurt you anymore." 

She shook her head furiously. "No!" she wailed "It wasn't a dream... It was real."

He wanted to reach out and touch her, to embrace her in his strong arms and make her forget about her pain, her past.

But he couldn't.

Even moving too fast in her direction could send her into a panic attack, let alone physical contact on any level. No, if he was going to be able to touch her it would have to be by her initiation. All he could do right now was stare into her beautiful emerald eyes and try and sooth her with his words until she fell back asleep to await what fate may wait for her in the morning.

She turned her questioning eyes to him as if she was scared of how he might react. "Can you-" stopped mid sentence almost reconsidering her decision.

"Yes love?" he asked gently, urging her to continue.

"Can you hold me?"

He took a moment to answer, honestly a little shocked by her words. "Are you sure that's okay?" He watched as she bit her quivering lip, "I mean, I would love to, but... will you be okay?"

Her eyes started to well up while she nodded. Killian got up from the position he had been crouching in to wake her up, and sat on the edge of the bed, still a little apprehensive. The moment he got settled on the cramped little hospital bed Emma leaned into his side searching for the strength she was lacking.

He knew she was crying from the dampness collecting in the shoulder of his shirt but she was trying to hide the fact that she was hurting, that she felt weak and helpless.

"It's alright love." She didn't answer, "It's alright to cry. The first step to healing is to acknowledge the pain." He heard her sniffle as she continued to cry silently.

"Do you remember the time right after Liam died in the car accident and we found each other again?" He felt her nod into his chest. "I was so depressed, and angry that the world had stolen the last person in the world that I had left. But I wasn't alone, you saw me hurting and set aside your own troubles to help me recover. Do you remember how?" He asked as a tear rolled down his cheek bone and fell into Emma's hair. She nodded again as she skooched closer to his body.

"I was sitting on the front porch of that blasted group home at one o'clock in the morning and you came and sat next to me with two cups of hot cocoa and cinnamon and a blanket and told me about how your parents left you and your brother shortly after you were born. That you were on the streets fending for yourselves until a police officer picked you up and handed you over to the foster system to be shipped off from home to home until they gave up searching and tossed you in a group home." she let out a broken sob. "And then you shared about your own brother. That you missed him so bad while he was out finding work, trying to build a future for the both of you, that between visits, every time he left you to be further tormented by the horrors of the system, you felt completely and utterly alone." 

He was crying himself at this point in the story and paused to wipe away the warm tears. "And then you grabbed my hand and told me that I wasn't alone anymore, that you would be there for me because you knew exactly what it felt like to be alone... And you let me cry, you didn't judge me for balling like a child, instead you told me that someday I would get my own happy ending and the pain would just be a distant memory."

By now she was openly crying, clinging to his shirt as much as she could with her injuries restricting her. "I want to do that for you, make sure that you're never alone and help you find your happy ending. And if you ever want to talk about it-" He felt her tense in his arms, "Not right now," he stammered trying to clarify his intentions. "But someday, even if you don't believe it yet, you may decide that you want to get it out in the open, and if that happens... I'll be here to listen."

He felt her squirming around and he loosened his grip on her letting her sit up and look straight into his eyes and whispered, "Thank you."

He smiled a genuine smile "just returning the favor, love."

At that she took his arm and put it over her shoulder, leaning onto his tear soaked chest where she fell into a peace filled sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, sorry again for posting so late but between school and everyone in my house being sick I haven't hat a whole lot of time to write. Anyway, please write a review they really do make my day!

Chapter 3  
The line at the hospital cafeteria was outrageous, Killian and David were trying to get their food and get back to Emma as soon as they could, but that was proving to be difficult. Mary Margaret was up there right now, but he still didn't like being away from her. Since last night Emma had seemed more at ease, not as afraid to ask for help and the last thing he wanted was for her to crawl back into her shell.

At the moment, as far as living arrangements go, they hadn't found anything interesting. Granted they were only three days into this so that was as to be expected. Really at this point it was just David looking for places around the city, he didn't really want to overwhelm Emma with the touchy topics, such as wheelchairs.

Once they had finally gotten their food they headed up stairs to her room. When they approached they heard Mary Margaret talking, "It was always a quaint little town. My family moved there right after my mother died, in fact that was where my father met my step mother. That town is the reason I healed after my mother’s death. All the people... They all felt like one big family."

Emma looked up from the blanket she had been staring at, "What did you call it again?"

"Storybrook." Mary Margaret sighed happily.

"Really?" Emma joked.

"Yep." She laughed, "But the people make up for the crazy title.

"That sounds nice though." Emma said dreamily.

"What does?"

"Getting away. Being able to heal, be free from everything that's haunting you." Emma breathed relishing in the possibility

Mary Margaret, while looking at the floor, cocked her head to the side. "Would you want to?"

Emma looked at her friend questioningly, "Would I want to what?"

Mary Margaret snapped her head up, "To go to Storybrook," Emma looked like she was about to scoff at the idea when Mary Margaret interrupted, "I'm sure we could talk to David and Killian about it. It would be hard moving from New York to Main, but I'm sure we could at least bring it up."

David took this moment to enter the small room with Killian trailing closely behind. "You certainly could," David inserted to the conversation. 

Mary Margaret's eyes locked on David. "I didn't know you were there."

"I know." David said, eyes filled with mirth.

Emma looked at Mary Margaret and then at David. "David," She sighed, "you can't honestly be thinking about this."

"What if I am?" 

"Seriously? David I can't ask you to move multiple states over and give up your job just because your little sister can't take care of herself. And what about Mary Margaret and Killian?"

David looked sadly at her, "That's not it, that's not it at all." He stepped over to the bed and kneeled down in front of her. "I'm not doing this out of pity, I'm doing this because you're my sister, and I love you. As much as you hate to admit it, Neal hurt you, and you said it yourself, you're not going to heal while being around all of the things that remind you of Neal and what he did to you. And as far as everyone else," he paused, "They'll have to decide for themselves what they want to do."

Emma answered back timidly "I don't want you to uproot your lives because of me."

Killian finally decided to cut in. "Pray tell love, what do we have to stay for? All of our family is in this room and none of us are really tied to our jobs, it’s not like it matters where we live. The only hard part will be getting there." Killian walked to the side opposite David and sat down. "The only question is... Do you want this?"

 

It had been 16 days till Emma was finally able to be released from the hospital. After looking at a few other options they had decided on moving to Storybrook, all agreeing on a large, four-bedroom house with two and a half baths, and completely wheelchair accessible.

Packing had been a little bit of a challenge, but somehow they had managed between tying up loose ends at work, checking up on Emma, and trying to empty three separate apartments. But now that it was all over they were ready to get on the road. 

David and Killian were going to drive alone while Emma tagged along with Mary Margaret, all with the moving van trailing in the back. It was going to take two days to get from New York to Main, so the plan was to stay in some cheap motel in Madison Vermont for the night.

Trying to get Emma and her wheelchair into Mary Margaret’s car was difficult and a little awkward for Killian who was lifting her into it. David probably would have, but he was currently on the phone trying to finalize plans with the people driving the moving vans and with the motel. After successfully getting Emma in the car and settled, Killian walked over to talk to David for a moment before hopping into his vehicle.

Emma quickly looked down at her phone seeing a message from her friend August and shot him a text. When she looked up she was surprised to see David standing next to the passenger side door.

"Hey, you alright?"

"Yeah... I think." she corrected herself, "For the car ride down anyway."

"Well, if you need anything I'm just a phone call away." 

"I know," she sighed. "You guys do know that I'm a fully grown adult right? I moved out, I got a job, I even figured out how to pay the electricity bill on my own." She joked.

David rolled his eyes, "Ha. Ha. Very funny, I'm just trying to-"

"Be my crazy protective older brother? Yeah, I know, I've had to put up with you now for like ever."

"Ouch. Well I guess I will be out of your way then malady." He said dramatically as he curtseyed .

She laughed as she pushed him away, "Good we can finally get out of here!"

He smiled genuinely as he carefully shut the door, walking over to Mary Margaret and giving her a hug and a kiss. And as much as she tried, Emma couldn't help but feel a little bit jealous by the act.

 

"Enough small talk, how are you feeling?" Mary Margaret inquired as she turned off the radio.

"I already talked to David about this," Emma groaned "I'm completely capable of taking care of myself."

"Emma, I know that you already talked to David, and I'm not trying to treat you as anything less than an adult. I just want you to have an opportunity to talk about it."

Emma sighed, "Well I still have a few bruises, a sprained wrist and that nasty cut on the back of my head, besides that and the fact that I won't be able to walk again for three months, and that's if I work hard, I'm fine.”

"I wasn't talking about that and we both know it."

"I know. I just... really don't feel like talking about it."

"Okay, well I'm always here if you decide differently."

"Thank you." Emma said genuinely.

Mary Margaret’s gaze turned off of the road to give Emma a smile.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I was stuck in the last scene of this chapter for weeks (I had a head start on the first few chapters) and I had no clue what to do, so I sat down on my couch and my muse said 'okay so let’s completely forget the story line for a while.' So here you go... I guess... I'm sorry, I tried to control myself. Also, thank you to everyone that has been kind enough to leave reviews and kudos and to those reading. BTW we're getting into more of the CS relationship and backstory in the next couple chapters. YAY!!! It has been so much fun to write and I hope you enjoy.

Chapter 4

 

She woke up to the wonderful aroma of coffee wafting into the room. When Emma opened her eyes she saw Killian sitting at the small table in the corner of the room, still in his pajamas, looking at the screen of his laptop while sipping on a cup of steaming hot coffee. He had his pair of ridiculously dorky glasses on and she couldn't help but smile. 

She shifted in the bed she was sharing with Mary Margaret and Killian's head jerked up. When he saw it was her, his facial expression softened. "Do you need help getting up, love?" Killian said softly.

"No, just bring me some of that amazing smelling coffee and I'll be fine." She said, sleep in her voice

He smiled, then, bringing her coffee, he whispered, "French vanilla, extra cream, and a dash of cinnamon, just the way you like it." He presented her coffee with an extravagant bow.

She chuckled as she took a sip of her coffee. "What time is it?" she asked.

He grabbed his flip phone out of his pocket (Emma had always insisted on him getting a better phone, but he always said that they were just a distraction) and checked the time. "It's on the brink of eight O'clock, I do presume that we should probably head out soon."

In a half hour everyone was ready to go, David had paid the motel fee the night before so that they didn't have to wait for the front desk to open in the morning. David was getting ready to help Emma get into Mary Margaret’s car when Emma wheeled up to Killian (as well as she could with her wrist brace getting in the way) and asked, "Would it be okay if I tagged along with you for the rest of the ride?"

"Of course love," he said happily and jogged to the other side of his truck to prepare seating for her. 

It was getting easier to get in and out of the car now that she knew when to help and when not to so the whole process didn't take near as long. With the last door shut they were almost home.

 

Ever since that night in the hospital they hadn't really had too much time to talk, with everyone trying to get ready to move, everything had been a bit hectic. But right now Emma really needed to talk, sure, she could have talked to Mary Margaret yesterday, but she needed to talk to someone who understood her.

Killian gave her a sideways glance before asking, "Something on your mind love?"

"Actually... Yes." she sighed 

"I'm all ears." He said while re-positioning his hands on the steering wheel.

"Well..." she paused, wondering how to carry on the conversation. "I guess I wanted to say thank you."

He looked at her questioningly. "What for?"

"For understanding." She paused again, "During this whole thing, out of everyone, you're the person whose understood what I needed and when I needed it. David is being so protective over me right now that he's not taking time to really take in what's going on, and Mary Margaret is..." She hesitated, "trying to help, but she doesn't know me like you do."

"Well Swan, You're welcome." 

"I have a question though... How?" Emma asked cocking her head to the side.

He shot her a confused look, "How what, love?"

"How have you been able to understand everything?"

He stole his eyes away from the road to glance at her. "You already said it love, I know you better than anyone else. I don't just know your name and your favorite color, I know you. I know when to push you and when to give you time, I know when to make you smile and when to comfort you. And I know the difference of when you're really fine... and when you're just pretending to be." He finished with a sigh.

There was silence in the car, Killian trying to gauge what her reaction would be, and Emma too lost in thought to say anything. Killian slowed the car and pulled it over to the side of the road before he turned toward her. "So, how are you holding up really?"

She took a moment to answer almost as if she didn't know how she herself felt. "To tell you the truth," she paused, "I'm scared Killian. I try to pretend I know what I'm doing, that I have it all under control... But I don't." She stared ahead of her as a warm tear slid down her cheek. "I was always independent, not needing or wanting help from anyone... But now I need help to do simple things that I used to do every day. I can't walk anymore." She sobbed. "I need help getting in and out of the car, going up and down the stairs, I can't even get out of bed in the morning without help. So honestly Killian," She sniffled and whispered, "I feel useless."

Killian leaned toward her and embraced her in a tight hug, "Shhhh, you’re not useless, far from it in fact, and I don't want you telling yourself that or anything of the sort," he rasped as fresh tears fell from his eyes. 

 

It was late afternoon when their small procession rolled into Storybrook. The town was definitely not New York but that wasn't bad, at first look it actually seemed quite cozy. Their house was an only couple blocks away from the library where Emma felt she would be spending a lot of her time.

It didn't take that long to load everything inside the house, but again, Emma felt more of a burden than a help. She did what she could, but it felt like everyone else was running circles around her. 

At the end of the day, when they had gotten all the essentials unpacked and everyone finally had time to breath, Emma found Killian in the kitchen rummaging through some boxes and wheeled around the giant island that doubled as a bar to see what he was doing. "What are you looking for?"

"Just the coffee maker," He said not even looking up from the large cardboard box.

"Okay, well then where's David?" She asked while drumming her fingers on the arm of her wheelchair.

"I believe he's out on the front porch with Mary Margaret." he mumbled moving on to next box.

"Then I'm going to go see what they're doing." She said adjusting her hands on the edge of the large wheels, preparing to turn around.

Killian finally looked up from the boxes with a semi-panicked expression on his face, "I wouldn't do that love, been there done that and I walked in on a pretty heated make out session." 

"Oh, okay then, I guess I'll just go back to my room." She sighed.

"Wait, Emma was there something you needed?" He asked.

"Well we've been either trapped in a car or unpacking and I was wondering if maybe you wanted to go for an evening stroll... or roll in my case I guess." she asked shyly.

He chuckled before answering, "I'd love to. But let’s go out the back door."


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all! Sorry, I meant to get this out a couple of days ago but I wanted to have a little bit more of the next chapter written before releasing this one. So I guess there could kinda be a trigger warning in this chapter, so read with discretion. Thanks to everyone who has left kudos and comments, I really do love them! Hope you enjoy and happy readings!!!

Chapter 5

The chilly September air flitted over Emma's skin as Killian pushed her gently down the sidewalk. The sun was starting to set over the treetops, and the fresh air was so welcoming that she couldn't help but relish in this newfound sanctuary. They were mostly silent, occasionally commenting on the beauty of it all.

And then they were at the harbor, staring at the glowing, red-orange stripe across the calm waters. And suddenly, with Killian standing next to her and the warm sun beaming on her face, she finally believed that maybe everything really could turn out alright after all. 

But then it was gone, the sun dipped beneath the rolling waves and all that was left was darkness, and she knew that life couldn't be that simple and there would be a long journey until she found her happy ending.

 

She was beautiful, with the sun radiating off of her face as she closed her eyes, soaking in the warmth that the sun provided, the feelings he had worked so hard to crush down came rushing back. He loved her, and he hated it, knowing that what he wanted could never happen, but the heart wants what the heart wants.

He looked down at Emma, seeing the inquisitive look in her eyes, he realized that the sun was gone and it was now getting quite cold. He tried to shake off his feelings that would only complicate the messy circumstances further before clearing his throat, "What do think about finding someplace to pick up dinner?"

"Um... Sure, but we should probably call David and Mary Margaret to let them know where we are and see if they want anything. Oh and check to see if Mary Margaret knows a good place to get a grilled cheese." 

 

They talked about random things until they ended up in front up of a quaint little diner called Granny's. The old woman inside that owned the restaurant seemed to have a mixed personality, almost as if she couldn’t decide whether she was warm and kind or harsh and sarcastic. Towards Emma Granny was very kind and loving, treating her like a long lost granddaughter. But to Killian she was an entirely different character, she was more rough and… suggestive.

When they finally had their bags of food and were outside Emma saw the bewildered expression on Killian’s face and couldn’t hold back the little giggle that slipped past her lips. Killian shot a glare down at her, “May I please ask what you find so funny Swan?”

She stopped giggling for a few seconds in order to give him an answer, “I think you know what I find so funny.”

They were silent for a few moments as they moved through the crisp night air. The streets were practically deserted, only a couple lonely pedestrians walking the sidewalks and a couple cars occasionally cruising down main street below the speed limit. It was so different from the city life she was so used to, she couldn’t help but lean her head back in the wheelchair, close her eyes and breath in her surroundings. 

They were almost to the house again when Killian piped up, “So just how are you adjusting to the place Emma?”

She didn’t even open her eyes when she answered, “So far the people we’ve met are nice, and the house is beautiful. The town just seems so, I don’t know, welcoming I guess. It’s just so different from New York.”

“Is that a bad thing?” 

She picked up her head and looked ahead, “I don’t know, In New York you could live out your life without a single person knowing who you are, you can go to the same coffee shop every day for four years and they still don’t even know your name. But here… we’ve only been here for a day and went to a diner once and we already know the owner and had an actual conversation with her.”

“I repeat, is that a bad thing?”

“I’m still trying to figure that out. In New York you could blend in and not have to worry about other people and what they thought because they didn’t care. And that’s what I wanted, or thought I wanted anyway, to make my own choices and not have thirty people breathing down my neck. But here, in Storybrook, it feels like a big family. Everybody in everybody’s business but helping you out and encouraging you along the way. I guess a couple of months ago I would have scoffed at the idea of living in a small town let alone liking it… But everything’s changing… and I think I’m warming up to the idea.”

They wheeled up to the front porch just as Emma finished her monologue and went inside. Just to avoid walking in on something that he really didn’t want to see Killian yelled, “Hey lovebirds! We’re back with the food!” 

Killian wheeled Emma up to the counter and started unpacking the steaming food from the pale brown bag from Granny’s. “Mhmm. It smells so good.” Emma moaned. 

“Trust me it tastes even better.” Mary Margaret said as she entered the room with David in tow.

“Is that even possible?” David asked, helping Killian lay out the food.

“I don’t know mate, but I do happen to know that the person who made the food was far less enticing.” Killian muttered just loud enough for everyone to hear, making Emma giggle.

“Did Granny give you a hard time?” Mary Margaret asked with a smile.

“let’s put it this way, she thought Killian was quite attractive and had no problem telling him she was available.” Emma cut in.

Now it was Mary Margaret’s turn to laugh, “That’s Granny for you, whatever comes into her head comes out of her mouth.”

“Well a warning would have been nice.” Killian said darkly sending both women into hysterics.

“Okay, so besides an overly familiar Granny did you like what you saw?” Mary Margaret asked innocently while popping an onion ring into her mouth.  
“Yeah,” Emma sighed, “Everything was beautiful and… And I think this is a place where I can start over.”

After that Emma seemed to be quieter than normal. She would throw in a small (fake) smile every now and again as Mary Margaret talked about herself as a giggly hormonal teenager, Emma seemed to be lost in space and Killian could tell that something was off. 

When dinner was all cleaned up Mary Margaret and David left Emma and Killian by themselves saying they were going to go outside and watch the stars. Emma was about to go to bed when Killian stopped her. “Are you alright love? You seemed to be in some faraway place for most of dinner.”

“Yeah I was just a little worn out from our walk I guess.”

“You know for being so good at being able to spot a lie you’re bloody terrible at telling them. If you don’t want to talk about it than say so, but don’t lie to me.” Killian said sternly. “the only way any of us will be able to make it through this is if we be honest with each other and with ourselves. So I’m going to ask again, what’s bothering you?”

“I don’t know it’s just… All of this is happening because of me.” She said fiercely as looked at the ground, refusing to make eye contact. 

Killian stopped what he was doing and walked over to her and crouched on the floor, “What are you talking about?” 

“If it wasn’t for me we wouldn’t have had to move everyone could have stayed in New York and kept their jobs. But because I was so stupid and let Neal do what he did to me…”

“Hey,” Killian interrupted, “That was not your fault and that will never be your fault. The only person to blame for what Neal did is Neal.”

By now tears were running down her face and she wiped angrily at them, “But you and David told me to leave and I had my chances and I still wouldn’t… I deserve everything he did to me.” She sobbed.

“Shhhh.” Killian whispered in her ear as he hugged her letting her cry on his shoulder until she managed to calm down. When she stopped sobbing he backed away, still holding her shoulders, and looked straight into her eyes, “Do you honestly believe that?” He questioned, quickly brushing away some stay hair that had fallen into her face.

She didn’t answer

“Oh Emma.” He sighed, “I wish you could see yourself the way I see you.”

“What could you possibly see?” She whimpered 

He squeezed her hand, “I see a beautiful woman who just wants someone to love her, and hold her, and tell her she’s special. Well Emma, you are special and we all love you” I love you he wanted to say but he knew that right know his confession would be unwelcome.

More tears gushed down her cheeks, “How do you know me so well?” She asked already knowing the answer.

He smiled remembering the first time she had asked him that exact question in the group home they had been in, and he gave her the same answer, the one he knew she wanted to hear, “You’re an open book love.”

Just then he heard the screen door swing open and David walked in, he looked at them questioningly before he asked, “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah,” Emma mumbled as Killian stood up from where he was still crouched down on the floor, “I was just heading to bed actually.” Emma spoke a little louder. 

Emma turned her wheelchair around and disappeared down the hallway to her bedroom, as soon as she was out of sight Killian sighed and scrubbed his hand over his face. “I was just getting a couple blankets; I didn’t mean to interrupt something,” David paused, “Did I interrupt something?”

“No, it’s just… She’s been so closed off and insecure, she has good reason to be, but it’s still not healthy for her. I was finally getting somewhere, finally getting her to let me in.” Killian answered. “But it doesn’t matter,” he said, giving David a tight smile. “I think I’m going to go hit the sack as well, it’s been a long day.” Killian turned and left, leaving a very confused David in the kitchen.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize a million times over for the lengthy wait for this chapter. I am so, so sorry but word crashed on my laptop so I had to completely re-write this chapter. Not to mention my Family has been super busy getting ready for a friends wedding that happened this past weekend. Hopefully you won't have to wait this long for the next chapter, I don't have any of the next chapter written so you may have to wait a tad longer than the week I had hoped for. Thank you for putting up with me and my excuses. I hope you enjoy reading this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it!!!!

Chapter 6

She swung the door closed behind her, hoping that David would keep Killian from following her. She had said too much,  
let herself take too many brick off of the walls that were keeping her heart safe. She knew that Killian would never hurt  
her on purpose but that was the problem. One day he would wake up and realize that she wasn't what he wanted and stop  
loving her... That's what Neal did (if he ever loved her in the first place). But instead of thinking of himself and  
leaving her, he would stay. He would stay because he knew that any more heartache would reduce her to dust. She  
wouldn't let herself be the cause of of his misery just because she was weak.

That's why she couldn't let herself love him... Because he could never love her.

She laughed at the cruelty of it all, she had to live in the same house as the man she'd loved since she was a teenager,  
for who knows how long, and all they could ever be was friends. She had tried to move on when she had finally excepted  
that Killian was never going to see her like that, and look where that had gotten her... a brain injury and a wheelchair.

 

It was pure torture to be so close to her but unable to be with her. He had considered just going across the hall and  
knocking on her door , but he decided against it, knowing that she was already building her walls higher than they were  
before.

Something just didn't make sense to him, why did she choose Neal over him? At sixteen he watched Emma dismiss one guy  
after another, they practically lined up at her door. No one could ignore her unique beauty, especially as teenagers, the  
time when your hormones are raging like a wildfire. She even turned down Graham (a dashing young lad who he knew she had a  
crush on) and at that point he knew he had absolutely no chance with her.

Then there was Milah. One big distraction, or at least it started out that way. He had just wanted to get Emma out of his  
head, to stop thinking about her, stop wanting her. They met in one of his classes in school when their teacher paired them  
together as study partners. She was more outgoing than Emma was and promptly asked him out. Seeing as he wasn't making any  
progress with Emma he jumped at the chance.

At first it was just a playful cliche childhood romance, he carried her books between classes and she would give him quick  
kisses by his locker. But then she started getting more... demanding. They started spending more time together outside of  
school and their quick kisses turned heated.

He didn't catch it until much later, but Emma and Milah HATED each other. Whenever Milah was the topic of conversation Emma always seemed to have something else to do or talk about. But he was too consumed with his emotions to notice, all of the feelings he was having were new and exciting and before he knew it everything was going so fast and he didn't know how to keep it all from crashing in the end.

He gave Milah everything...EVERYTHING.

That was what finally turned Emma away from him, when he told her that he had given Milah his virginity was the last brick on top of the walls that blocked him from her heart. He had been with Milah for a year and a half when he found out that Emma had started dating Neal. The moment he saw Neal kissing Emma across the hall at school was the moment he woke up from the trans he had been in for the past eighteen months. He was hurt and furious and he accepted that it was all his fault.

He had done this to himself, he had hurt Emma in such a way that she didn't feel comfortable talking to him anymore... And he hated himself for it. He started getting depressed and stopped paying attention to the people around him... Including Milah. He was hardly surprised when he found out that she was cheating on him for some jock, but that didn't make the reality hurt any less. He has wasted his relationship with Emma for her he had waisted his virginity on Milah... And now she was gone, she left him in the ashes to put his life back together.

He knew that he couldn't turn to Emma, he knew earning her trust back would take a lot of time. He couldn't wait that long, leaving him alone with his thoughts only took him to dark and lonely places... So he turned to David for help. He had never a close friendship with David, that had always been Liam's place, but with the present circumstances fate managed to push them together.

Soon Killian and Emma graduated high school, Killian started going to a small community college while Emma moved in with Neal. Killian watched as their relationship got more and more animated, Emma started getting distant and Neal started getting more easily agitated. He assumed that this was when the verbal abuse started, the physical aspect didn't start until a while later.

That brings them to the present, Emma still hesitant to trust him with all of her feelings and secrets, and Killian ready to catch her when she falls and give her hope when she has none. And no matter when Emma did or said, he would always be there, nothing could change that. 

 

David honestly had no idea what was going on, Emma and Killian had always been good friends, sure there had been bumps in the road along with hurt feelings, but what good relationship didn't. They had never formally crossed the line from friendship to a romantic relationship (even though anyone with eyes could see the desire to), and David had no idea what was stopping them. 

Of course he knew that at one point in their friendship they were close to ending it, but they made it to the other side. Could one accident really keep them from acknowledging their feelings for this long? A part of him said to just leave it alone, that they could figure it out on their own and they really didn't need him sticking his nose in the middle of whatever was going on. But another part of him knew that they were both too stubborn to make the first move.

David ultimately decided that going to Emma first would be the best move, rather than going to Killian. David Knew that Emma would tell him either to stay out of it (in rather different words) or tell him the truth of what happened whereas Killian would give half of the truth in order to blame himself for everything.

The next morning as David made breakfast, with the few cooking utensils he had unpacked, Emma entered the kitchen. She stopped to rub her eyes while she yawned, and he knew he should talk to her sooner rather than later.

"Do you want coffee?" David asked smoothly.

Emma looked at him and asked with a sleep-filled voice, "What kind of a question is that?"

David knew better than to answer and swiftly whisked around to grab a coffee mug out of the cardboard box with "KITCHEN" scrawled across the side.

"Did you have any problems getting out of bed?" David inquired with a raised eyebrow.

"Nope," Emma insisted, "just earned myself a couple bruises and came up with a few colorful words."

David sighed, "You know you could have texted me or Mary Margaret to help you get into the wheelchair." He paused before the bear with a pointy stick, "I'm sure Killian wouldn't have minded helping you either."

Emma glared at David, seeing right through his facade. "David," She warned.

"Okay." David said feigning defeat. "Would you like some eggs?"

"Sure," Emma sighed. And In that sigh David could see just how tired she was, tired of fighting to keep afloat. He wished he could do something for her, to remind her that she wasn't alone anymore, that she didn't have to fight. But every time he tried to comfort her she pushed him further away.

After David had prepared the two plates filled with eggs and toast he led Emma out to the front porch. He set the two dishes down onto the glass table beside the two-person swing before he gestured to the wooden loveseat and asked, "Sit in the swing with your brother?"

"David..." She whined.

"Please."

After a few moments of silence Emma finally gave up. "Fine."

David quickly got Emma situated before sitting down himself and handing her her breakfast. They sat in silence as they ate, staring at the slightly overgrown grass covering the front yard leading to a fence in desperate need of a new paint job. despite the small imperfections it was theirs... And it was beautiful. 

Emma couldn't help but think of having a family running around in this yard. She could imagine it now, she was kneeling in the grass with a paintbrush, making the fence look brand new. She had a child playing in the yard... A girl... She was picking flowers and unsuccessfully weaving them into her hair. Every time she bent over, the purple and white flower would fall from her head where she would pick it up and try again only for it to slip right back out. she couldn't help but to smile. Eventually the girl gave up and added the flower to her growing bouquet. With the final touch she turned around and ran across the yard into a man's arms, she gave him the handful of flowers and he gave her a sweet kiss on the nose. It was Killian.

As if plucking the subject out of her head David spoke up, "Why do you keep avoiding Killian?"

"So that's why you wanted me to get on the swing with you, so you could interrogate me and I wouldn't be able to run away?" Emma joked trying to sidestep his question.

"Not at first but now it seems quite convenient." David said playing along before getting serious, "Honestly though Emma, what did he do that made you stop trusting him?"

"It's hard to explain." Emma said coldly.

"Then don't. I won't force you to talk to me, I just want you to know that I'm here."

It was silent for a few seconds while Emma stared at her lap debating whether she should open herself up to her brother. "Because he pushed me to the side just like everyone else, I thought he was different. But the second he set his eyes on Milah I was Invisible. He was the only person I had when you got out of the system and he left me behind."

David took a moment to find something to say, "Did you ever hear what he had to say."

"No. We've never talked about it, we don't really talk about more than everyday 'how was work' stuff anymore."

"Give him a chance, you never know what could happen."

"A chance to do what exactly." Emma questioned skeptically.

"I guess we'll never know unless you try."


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I'm just gonna stop promising anything that has to do with a schedule... Again I'm sincerely sorry for the long wait and thank everyone who has put up with me. So anyways, here's my newest addition to this story and I hope you enjoy what happens in the end ; ). Thanks everyone for reading and leaving kudos and comments!

She was confused. She loved him, after all this time she finally forced herself to admit it, she couldn't change that. No matter how far she got and how much she changed, he could still read her like an open book. She hated it... But she loved it... That was the confusing part. Even though they had never vocally addressed what had happened between them, there were those times, like the night at the hospital when Killian comforted her after her nightmare, or on the car ride to Storybrook when he layed out that he knew every part of her, and especially last night when he made her feel wanted, that she really just wanted to forget the act for a moment and let him hold her. That's all she wanted... To feel loved, consequences be damned.

Was love really that much to ask for? Yes. Love was the most complicated and rarest thing to find, and one small mistake could send two people into a tornado of emotions, more often than not, ending in heart break. But could it really get any worse? She had to stop running, she was only depriving herself of a possibility. The only way she would be able to tell would be by doing exactly what David said... Giving him a chance. But what if she was reading this entire situation wrong? What if all these times Killian really was just trying to comfort her and had no hidden romantic drive? Well, she wouldn't face rejection if she didn't have to, so she just wouldn't bring it up at all. If he had some hidden emotions he was keeping from her then that was his business. If he wanted something he was going to have to come to her, but one thing she could do, was stop running.

-FT

"Me and Mary Margaret are going out for the day." David said to Killian, who was sitting in the living room unpacking boxes.

"Is that so?" Killian asked in a monotone, almost disinterested voice. 

"I was just wondering if you'd be around to keep an eye on Emma?" David questioned, trying not to reveal his hidden agenda.

Killian looked up from the mess surrounding his legs, "Of course."

"So..." David said, trying to breach the subject carefully, "How was your walk with her yesterday."

"Dave," Killian muttered refocusing his attention on another box, "I sincerely hope you don't think you're fooling anyone."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning, I know you want Emma and I to somehow magically fall into a relationship. And I can tell you one thing mate, she doesn't want me, not like that at least."

"How do you know that? Because I know that whatever I walked in on last night wasn't something you normally do with a girl that's 'just a friend'."

"Yeah, well that still doesn't change the facts."

"And what are those facts exactly?" David inquired while moving to sit on the tan sofa near his friend.

"The facts are that she didn't want me when we were younger. Why would she want me now?"

"Really? Because that's not the same story I got from Emma this morning."

Davids last statement caused Killian to whip his head up and narrow his eyes at him. "What are you talking about?"

"It would seem Emma's under the impression that you were the one that didn't want her. So how about this question: Have you ever asked Emma to be in a relationship with you?" 

Killian paused before mumbling, "Not in so many words."

David dropped his head in his hands and waited a minute before responding. Treating him like a petulant child...just for dramatic effect. After drawing out his actions as long as he could, he lifted his head and looked Killian straight in the eye, "Talk to her... And apologise. You might be surprised by the outcome."

-FT

Somehow David always knew exactly what was going on and how to fix it. Why did the buggering nuisance always have to be right? He knew that he had to apologise, too much time had passed with him and Emma acting as if nothing had ever happened, he just didn't know how to bring it up after all these years.

Killian was so lost in thought, he hadn't even noticed Emma wheeling herself into the living room. Though it seemed he wasn't the only one trapped in his mind based on the distant look on her face. He cleared his throat, causing her to look up, investigating where the sound came from. "Just me, love. " He said, pausing to muster up the courage to confess what was nagging at him. "However, I think we might be overdue for a discussion."

Emma cocked her head to the side, looking confused before a rush of realization swept over her. "David talked to you." She concluded. Emma huffed before running her good hand through her hair. "You know, you don't have to listen to every word that comes out of his mouth."

"I know," Killian said calmly, "But he was right."

"About what exactly?" Emma asked, wondering what exactly he and her brother talked about.

"That I should apologise." Killian sighed, watching as Emma gave him a confused look.

"About last night?"

Killian huffed out a laugh while running his right hand through his dark hair. "Not quite yesterday... More like six years ago." He could feel the change of attitude in the room the moment he uttered the words.

"Killian... That's exactly what it is, six years ago. Just leave it in the past, there's no point in bringing up old pain." She was looking at him with a pleading expression, almost begging him to stop talking.

"It's not in the past if the affects of what happened are still taking a toll on you now." He said sternly.

"Who said they are?" Emma mumbled stubbornly.

"The expression on your face gave it away, darling." He said quietly

"Fine, than apologise."

"Alright then, swan." He cleared his throat. "I'm sincerely sorry that my actions caused a riff in our friendship. I'm also sorry for the fact that I haven't brought it up to you till now." He saw her eyes glaze over with fresh tears. "I should've told you before that I was confused and hurt, and I didn't know how to deal with my emotions, didn't know how to talk about them. So instead I did some irrational things, and they hurt not only me but you too, and for that, Emma, I apologise."

-FT

She didn't know what to say to him. Killian was sitting there, in the middle of the living room, baring to her his feeling and emotions, and she didn't know what to say. Her heart was fluttering in ways that made her want to let him into her soul and let him see her for what she was. But what if he hurt her again? Sure he was sorry now but he didn't really mean to hurt her the first time. So she decided it, she would let him in, she would let him know even her darkest thoughts. But first... He had to tell her why.

Emma took a deep breath preparing her-self for the worst. "Can you answer me one question?"

Killian looked straight into her emerald eyes with his ocean blue ones and his answer melted her to her very core. "Anything."

"Why wasn't I enough for you?" she asked with a smooth voice, trying not to let on to all of the emotions trying to claw their way out.

The look on his face was pure shock, "What are you talking about?" he asked, confusion the only thing apparent on his face.

"I waited for you, I never dated anybody else. I made myself as available as possible and you still rejected me."

"Are you kidding with me?" He asked with a barely audible tone.

"Why would I joke about that?" She huffed, "The only person I ever wanted was you, but you couldn't see me as anything more than a friend. Then you ran off to be with Milah and I wasn't even that to you anymore."

"I can't believe this." Killian exclaimed as he scrubbed his hand across his mouth. 

"Would you mind sharing what's on your mind?" Emma asked, getting frustrated.

"I watched you turn away every guy that knocked on your door and thought I didn't have a chance. That's why I started going with Milah in the first place, because I didn't feel that I was good enough for you... And I was scared that you would reject ME. I was afraid it would change something between us, so when Milah offered herself up I guess I gave up and caved." He stopped talking and looked at her, cocking his head to the side, "Now... I have a question."

"Okay." Emma gulped, trying to grasp the situation.

"Why didn't you just talk to me about it? I was just as available as you were."

"I guess I was scared too."

"And all this time I thought you would never see me as more than a friend, but you've been secretly carrying a torch for me the whole time."

Emma groaned and covered her eyes with her palms, "Let me get this straight. Both of us wanted to be together but were to scared to say anything?"

"Sounds about right." Killian chuckled sadly. "We lost so much time." He whispered.

There was silence in the room while each overturned this newfound information in their heads. It was so cruel to know that they could have avoided all of this hurt and pain if only one of them had the courage to speak up.

Suddenly Emma's head perked up and she asked, "Where are David and Mary Margaret."

Killian ran his hand through his already messy hair, only disheveling it even more. "They went into town. Why?"

Emma ignored his question, inserting another one of her own instead, "When will they be back?"

"Well Mary Margaret left earlier this afternoon and David left less than a half hour ago to meet her and said that they wouldn't be back until after dinner. I still don't understand..."

"Kiss me."

Her statement caught Killian off guard for a moment, but he didn't ask her any questions. He stood up from his place on the floor and walked over to where Emma was, lifting her up from her wheelchair into a standing position, supporting her weight with his muscle ridden arms. And they stood there, staring at each other, not wanting to forget this moment. 

Emma wrapped her arms around his neck, staring deep into his eyes. Killian had his arms secured around her waist. He inched his face closer to hers, but only so far as touching their foreheads together, letting her know that she was in control, that he would never force anything on to her. 

And as Emma closed the gap between their lips she wasn't thinking of Neal and all the pain he put her through, she wasn't thinking of the casts on both her arm and leg. She was only thinking of one thing... Her love for Killian. There was no need for words, the kiss voicing everything they didn't know how to say. It started slow, a conglomeration of emotion spilling into each others mouths, but evolved into something more passionate, only stopping to grab a hurried breath.

And in this moment standing in a new home, in a new town, with new feelings, battle scars and all, Emma knew that there was no place she'd rather be.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hehehehe, I'm sorry about the long wait... Again. Thank you to everybody who has left kudos and comments, love them all! Hope you enjoy this chapter!

The kiss broke and they stood there panting, trying to catch their breath. With her eyes still closed Emma moved her arms from where they were coiled around Killian's neck and rested her hands on his shoulders. The panic quickly started to settle in. Would this affect their friendship? Was she really ready for a relationship? She still had months of physical therapy let alone the mental therapy she was required to undergo, so was this really the right time to drag Killian even farther into her life?

"Killian?" She said quietly, so much so that he wouldn't have been able to hear her if he had been any farther away. She opened her eyes and looked up at him, their foreheads still pressed together, to see his eyes squeezed shut and his lips slightly parted.

"We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to." He offered, his accent thicker than normal.

Emma closed her mouth and breathed through her nose, almost taking him up in his offer, but quickly thinking better of it. They didn't live a fairy tale, if they wanted things to work out they would have to communicate. She slowly exhaled through her mouth before saying, "We need to." Killian nodded slowly and opened his eyes, separating their faces just enough to look into her eyes. 

After a few moments Emma saw a grin appear on Killian's face, she felt his hands moving from her waist right before Killian warned her, "Hold on," as he scooped her up in his arms and moved them swiftly to the couch, Emma squealing all the way. As Killian set her down, the romantic mood from earlier shifted to something more care free and friendly. Before Killian sat down he asked her, "Do you need something to prop up your leg?" 

Emma smiled, that was Killian all right, always making sure she was comfortable with whatever situation they were in. She shook her head, "No, this will be fine for now."

Killian sat down and scooted into a comfortable position. "How long till the casts come off?" He asked, making small talk while still asking honest questions, before broaching the subject of whatever just happened.

Emma looked down at her leg and the cast encasing it. "The doctor in New York said that the cast on my arm could come off next week, but the cast on my leg has at least three weeks and I'll still need a brace for a while after that on both my arm and leg." 

Killian was silent as he looked down at his hands that were lying in his lap before asking, "When's the next time you see a doctor?"

Emma looked pensive. "I go see somebody named Doctor Whale in two days." She looked at Killian. "He said he wanted to meet with me once before he removed the cast on my arm and takes out the stitches."

Killian nodded. "What about the counselor?"

Emma sighed. "David's calling the counselor tomorrow. Mary Margaret suggested somebody, a Doctor Hopper I think she said. Apparently after her mother died Mary Margaret's Dad put her in monthly counseling sessions."

A look of confusion passed over Killian's face. "What ever happened to him anyways?"

Emma was silent for a moment while she searched for the answer. "I think Mary Margaret said he got bit by a poisonous snake."

Emma watched Killian's gaze shift from the fireplace he had been staring at to her face, his eyes latching on to hers and staring straight into her very being. "Emma," he said quietly, his voice huskier than normal. "I won't force you into anything you don't want," he paused, "but you have to know that I want this." he said, grabbing her hand. "I want to be there for you. I want to be the person you come crying to after a rough day... I just want you." He whispered slowly.

Emma's eyes glossed over before she started speaking. "Killian, you have no idea how much I want that too, but it that really the best thing to do right now? I won't be able to walk at all for another month, I have to go through months of counseling because of my choices..." Emma croaked. "Have you really thought of all the baggage that comes along with a relationship with me?"

Killian sat up straighter and wove his fingers through hers. "I have Emma. I know exactly what I'm getting into." Killian whispered, his emotions getting the better of him. "But I WANT to be there next to you when you're having a nightmare, and I want to drive you to and from your counseling sessions. I want to be the one that helps you walk again... If only you'll let me."

A single tear left a wet trail down Emma's cheek. "How could you possibly want that?" 

"Because I love you Emma." His voice cracked but he didn't stop talking. "I didn't have to kiss you to know that I love you. I will gladly do all those things and so much more." Killian traced the side of her face with his right hand. "As long as I'm with you... So what do say love, will you give us a chance?"

Emma glanced down to where their finger were joined together. "I... I can't promise you anything physical." She whimpered, her face wrecked with tears.

With a completely honest expression Killian replied, "I'm not asking for your body Emma, I'm asking for your trust."

"Okay." Emma exhaled, another set of tears falling from her eyes. "I can give you a chance." Emma let out a breath that sounded more like a shudder as she saw the longing in Killian's eyes, the longing to kiss her. She gave the smallest nod of her head, giving him permission. She could tell he understood when he loosened his fingers from hers, instead moving them farther up to cup her face.

Emma leaned into his touch before his hand slid back, his fingers entangling themselves in her hair, cradling the back of her head as he leaned forward. Their foreheads were mere inches apart when he spoke three little words that meant everything to Emma under his breath, "I love you." 

It was then that he closed the gap between their mouths and kissed her passionately, not in a dominate way, but in a way that was sweet, yet bold at the same time. This was something Emma had never experienced before, being cherished, as if she was the most important person in some ones life. Even in the beginning Neal was always trying to dominate her, make her feel less important. She hadn't noticed it then, but in light of what happened later it all made sense. Now however, she WAS being cherished, she was being put first. Killian didn't want to be on a different level than her, he wanted them to be equal. And she loved it. 

When the kiss broke, a contagious smile broke out across Killian's face, causing Emma to reflect the same smile back at him. And she couldn't help it, she just wanted to stay close to him, never letting go. So instead of going back to unpacking boxes, which is what they should be doing, Emma scooted closer to him the best she could without injuring herself further, and burrowed her face into his neck. Killian seemed to understand what she was feeling and encircled his arms around her, making her feel safe. 

After a while of just sitting there, lost in each others embrace Killian moved backwards till he was propped up between the arm and the back of the couch. He lifted legs up onto the sofa and turned on his side, then he held out his arms, inviting Emma to lay with him. After a moment of hesitation she gave him her hand and he helped her move until she was lying with him, her back against his chest. The moment she was settled Killian draped his right arm over waist, pressing her closer. And with his free hand he started combing his fingers through her long blond hair, slowly lulling them both to sleep.

-FT

The day out with Mary Margaret had been amazing, they walked the town, had an early dinner and picked up a few groceries, they had even run into a few of Mary Margaret's old friends. He still couldn't help but wonder if he'd done any good by trying to push Killian and his sister together. Maybe Emma still wasn't ready for a relationship this soon after Neal. Maybe he should have waited a little longer before trying to manipulate their friendship. 

All of David's wondering was for naught because when he entered the house hand in hand with Mary Margaret to see Emma asleep, pressed tight to Killian's chest with his hand tangled in her hair, David knew that he did the right thing.

-FT


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I think it's bad when you have to start every chapter with an apology, but that's where I am right now. So... I am so sorry about the wait but somehow my summer is busier than my school year. Also Emma brings up the attack again. She doesn't get the chance to get that much into detail, but I still wanted to give everyone a heads-up. Thanks again for reading and leaving any kudos and/or comments. Really does make an authors day!

It had been a week since that night on the couch with Killian. Now She was sitting in a waiting room, bouncing her leg nervously while looking around the room at random posters that were hanging on the wall, preparing to meet with some counselor named Archie Hopper. David was sitting next to her looking just as nervous as she was, making her smile. That was her big brother, always concerned about her wellbeing.

"What?" David grinned.

"Nothing, it's just that your sitting there looking like a kid getting their first shot, and your not even the one that's getting..." Emma coughed for dramatic effect before imitating her doctor. "'your emotional state evaluated.'" 

They were both chuckling when one of the assistants interrupted them by saying, "Emma Swan, Doctor Hopper is ready for you." Emma bit her lip as she took the top of the wheels of her wheel chair and slowly pushed them forward, following the nurse to the door and took a deep breath as she entered the room and faced whatever it was that lay before her.

-FT

She could tell David was worried about her by the looks he had given her the whole ride home from Dr. Hoppers office, probably because she hadn't said much most of the afternoon and had generally stayed in her room where she was now. Emma could also tell that it wasn't just David, it was Mary Margaret and Killian too. Every time she left her room she could practically feel all of their eyes following her. But more than that she could feel Killian's need to comfort her, but also his want to give her space and not push her into a conversation she wasn't comfortable with.

Honestly, she was tired. After such an emotionally draining day all she wanted to do was sleep. But Emma knew she'd never find the peaceful sleep she needed without giving someone an explanation. She let out a loud sigh and pulled out her phone, quickly sending a text message.

KILLIAN I NEED YOU

Within moments Killian was knocking on her door. "Come in."

She could tell the moment he walking through the door she should have talked to him sooner, but she honestly had no idea how to broach the topic. "Killian," She paused, "um... Could you help me get into my bed? I was thinking about sleeping a little before dinner."

After a few minutes of pulling back the covers of her bed and removing the brace off of her arm that she had gotten a couple days ago replacing her cast, she was ready for Killian to move her. The moment he touched her Emma could tell by the was he was so tense that Killian was working his hardest to hold himself back. Killian had just finished pulling the covers up to her chin when he turned around to leave but before he could get to her door Emma called out to him.

"Don't leave, stay with me." She said timidly, sorry that she had caused him to take a step back. "I was serious when I texted you... I need you."

Killian slowly turned around and walked toward her bed crouching near her face and kissing her on her forehead. "You have no idea how much I needed to hear that." Then, silently, he crawled into her bed beside her and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer while slowly rubbing his hand across her back. 

They laid there quietly before Killian said, "You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, but if by chance you ever do, I'm right here."

Emma waited a couple minutes before answering. "Talking to the therapist was like being there all over again, I re-lived every horrid minute of it." She paused for a moment deciding how much of the story she would tell Killian. "I was leaving him."

"What do you mean?" Killian questioned quietly while running his fingers through her hair.

Emma snuggled deeper into him. "Neal," Her voice broke at the mention of his name. "I was leaving him. That's why he was so angry." Killian felt Emma shudder against him. "I had all of my stuff packed in boxes and in my car but I had to go back in and grab my purse and I had left the door open, and I didn't hear him come in." He couldn't see her face but he could tell she was crying due to the wetness gathering in his shirt. "And- and he kept getting closer when he grabbed a wooden spoon off of the counter-" Emma's sentence broke with a loud sob. 

"Shhhhhh. it's okay love, you don't have to tell me the rest." He tried soothing her as she sobbed into his shirt. Killian had no idea what to do to comfort her, he was at a loss for words, and all he could do was hold her until she fell asleep in his arms. And eventually that's what happened. Emma's crying soon died down to a soft whimper and not long after her breathing evened out and the room was silent. 

-FT

Falling asleep in someone's arms was the best thing Emma had experienced. Neal had never been a touchy-feely person so she wasn't used to feeling this way, this loved. The warmth radiating off of Killian was so comforting that Emma felt like she could stay here forever and ignore her darkened past. Emma nuzzled a little deeper into Killian's neck not wanting to come out of the best sleep she had had since she could remember. 

Emma still wanted to tell him the rest of what had happened with Neal, but maybe it would be a good idea to wait until the wounds in both her mind and heart weren't so fresh. She knew that whenever she was ready to talk, Killian was ready to listen. That by itself was good enough for now.

She felt Killian stir slightly next to her and she tightened her grip around his torso, this was a moment she didn't want to rush.

"Hmmm, you have no idea how much I enjoy this." Killian murmured, still half asleep.

"Well if you love it half as much as I do you must be having to time of your life." Emma replied, a smile sneaking it's way across her face. "Hey..." She paused, "I'm sorry for making you all worry, I should have talked to you sooner." Emma said seriously.

Killian shifted back a little bit in the bed so that he could get a good view of her face. "Emma, there is no need to apologize. You have a right to your privacy. Yes, we were all worried, but it's not that big of a deal."

"But it is," Emma said quietly. "I need to stop hiding from the people who love me... who I love back. You, and David, and Mary Margaret have sacrificed your home and your jobs, all because of me." Emma could tell Killian wanted to correct her so she rushed to finish her sentence. "Now I KNOW it was your decision and you all did it because you wanted to, but that doesn't change the fact that you did it. And I need to start giving the three of you the same consideration." She insisted

"Okay," Killian annunciated slowly, "I think I can get behind that." He smiled.

"Good." Emma finished. 

"We should probably get up and get something to eat, make sure Mary Margaret and David know that you're okay." Killian said, meanwhile not moving a muscle to get up.

"I'm not that hungry..." Emma said lightly.

Killian exhaled loudly. "We still need to let everyone that you're okay." He said seriously, this time gently moving back the blankets and pulling himself up, walking around the bed and helping Emma back into her chair and pushing her into the living room.

-FT


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Curve ball!! This is the last chapter! It's kind of sad that it has to end, but with all of my school and my job I'm just having less and less time to write. Sorry again for the really long break!! I overestimated myself when I started this story and I promise I will not post another story without having it completely finished beforehand so that I can keep up with all of the updates. With all of that said I hope you enjoy the last little part to this story!

The counseling was gradually getting better. Emma still needed a couple minutes to herself after every session before unloading on Killian. Now that Dr. Hopper (or Archie, she was trying the whole first name basis thing) had gotten her to open up and they had talked through both the trauma of being abused and of having gone through the foster system and never finding a home. Slowly Emma was making peace with her past. It was nice to get the emotional baggage out of the way, so that her mind was clear when she was with her family. 

The other thing that was happening was that she was slowly relying on Killian more and more. By now Emma was the only one without a job, so she was home by herself more often than not. Mary Margaret was teaching fourth graders at the school, David was working at the police station, and Killian was working with a man named Marco crafting boats. It was fun to hear Killian talk about his job, to see him get so excited. He talked about all of the new interesting things he learned from Marco, the little things he messed up on, and Emma could tell how much he loved doing it. 

Her brace on her arm was gone now and so was the cast on her leg, though Dr. Whale did encourage her to still walk with a crutch. But here she was on a walk with Killian, not a crutch in sight (not for the lack of Killian trying to persuade her). They didn't walk very far, only down to the docks they would sit on the edge of a little dock that Marco owned and hang their feet over the side. They would sit and watch the sunset and talk about everything that had happened during the day. Emma was realizing that this is what life is all about: being loved and loving back. 

-FT

"So Emma," Archie stammered after their session, "I was... well, I was wondering if you were looking for a job?"

"Uh, yeah." Emma said, hands in her pockets, "Why, do you know someone?"

"Well as a matter of fact I was kind looking for someone to help me here."

Emma's eyes grew wide. "Help? With what?" she crossed her arms.

"Well... My practice is getting fairly popular now that the small population of Storybrook is increasing and- well I have some paperwork that I just haven't had any time to get too. And-And in the meanwhile I was thinking I could train you in psychology." He fidgeted, adjusting his round glasses.

"Sure, I guess, I mean I still have to talk to Killian but otherwise I'd love too." She floundered, a little surprised at the offer.

It was silent for a minute before Archie spoke again. "You and Killian, you're very close to each other." he said conclusively. "At first when we started meeting I didn't think it would be conducive for you to be involved with another man so soon after the accident. But, now I see that Killian is the one that helped you recover the most." 

A whisper of a smile graced Emma's lips before before she replied, "Yeah, he did."

-FT

Five years later

It was finally happening, the life she had dreamed of so long ago. It was early October and the leaves were a rainbow of brilliant oranges, crisp yellows, and fiery reds. Emma and Killian were sitting on the front porch of their new house, much better than the apartment they had been living in since they had gotten married. The two of them had just finished painting the master bedroom, the dusty blue color still adorning their clothes and hands. 

Emma sat next to Killian, evaluating their lives. She was currently attending an online college, working on achieving a masters degree in psychology while Killian was in training to take over Marco's shop. Mary Margaret and David still lived in the house that the four of them had shared when they moved to Storybrook, just a couple miles away from where Emma and Killian lived now.

It seemed that everything had finally fallen into place, as if they had finally reached the point in their story where they might live happily ever after. Neal had been arrested a couple years back after robbing a convenient store, it didn't take the police long to connect him to Emma's file. He was still in prison and would be for a long while, the court dates and testimonies had really played with Emma's emotion's at the time. Seeing Neal, and inevitably receiving some of the verbal venom he was famous for, had thrown a little wrench in Emma and Killian's relationship, but they eventually made it through the storm and back into calm waters.

However, even though the scene was picture perfect there was still something missing, she just couldn't help dreaming of the little girl she had imagined on the swing with David what felt like forever ago. The girl picking flowers. She wanted a child so much, so much that it hurt. She thought about bringing it up to Killian just about every day. Emma just didn't know if they were ready. How would they support a child anyway? They had just dropped a large down payment on the house and would hand to keep making small payments for who knows how long, not to mention that she herself was scrounging up all the money she could in order to pay for college. The thought of all of it stressed her out to the point of tears, Emma yearned for a child so badly but it was just too far out of reach.

Killian squeezed her hand. "Are you going to tell me about it or am I going to have to drag the answers out of you?"

Emma let out a laugh like huff while laying her head on his shoulder. Who was she kidding anyway? Even if a child wasn't possible right now she could still share the dream with Killian until it was. There was no sense keeping him in the dark while she suffered anyway. "I love you, Killian." Emma let out a soft sigh.

"I love you too, Emma." he snaked his arm around her shoulders, "Now, what's bothering you?"

Emma exhaled. "Well... I." she paused. "I want..." She stopped again, choking on her voice. "I want to have a baby with you." She managed.

Killian didn't miss a beat, "Why not?"

Emma froze at the lack of consideration he gave it, like it was the obvious thing to do next. She lifted her head from his shoulder and looked at him. "What do you mean why not? How on earth could we possibly support a baby right now? Don't get me wrong I love this house and I would never want to live somewhere else, but we just spent so much mon-"

"What I mean is," Killian interrupted loudly, waiting for Emma to calm down. "What I mean is what I said a few moments ago. I love you, and I'd love to create a child with you. Now don't take my quick answer as lack of thought, love, it only means that I've thought it through extremely carefully numerous time. I can see your concern with lack of money at the moment, but I'll tell you a secret. are you ready?" Emma nodded silently. "I've kind of been putting small sections of my pay checks into a special bank account for when we did finally decide to have a little one and even though as a said, the amount set aside each week wasn't large, it's slowly built up over time into quite a hefty amount, and I think that with it we could support a child just fine." Killian finished.

Emma was shocked, she had had no idea that he had been doing this and now felt pretty awful for doubting him in the first place and not just telling him when she started thinking about it, and with the wave of new information and emotions she couldn't help but start crying. They could start a family! 

Killian leaned forward wrapping her in his arms slowly rocking her until she stopped crying. "Thank you." Emma murmured into his shirt, "life's never boring with you Killian, thank you."

"You are so welcome, love." he said sweetly before adding mischievously, "Now, about making that baby... what would you say to strolling into our brand new house and giving it a try?" 

Emma pulled away from the embrace mid-giggle. "On what? The bed isn't even due here until tomorrow."

"Ah yes, but you see there is a fully set up couch it the middle of the living room and I do believe that that would suffice." Killian ended in a smirk. He grabbed Emma's hand and led her into their house both laughing playfully, ready to start the next chapter of their life together.


End file.
